Help me remember how to forget
by vampire2489
Summary: Harry and his thoughts before death.


Help me remember how to forget

A scarlet sunset, screams, and blood mixing into the dirt to form a hazy nightmare in a twilight realm, that is the last thing I remember before losing my mind. After that flashes of carnage flit in out of focus. Flaming red shimmering in the light of spells, as first one then another killing curse is thrown. Bushy hair blending into the mud, as voices are silenced. And everywhere the burning fire, screams of pain, and cries of despair. Lily white skin turned to a charred black, and flaming hair consumed by the fire. Pain coursing throughout the body while looking into scarlet eyes that hold an inhuman laughter. Hate and despair coupled with resignation and determination. Flash of white burning pain, and then blackness.

At first I gave way to insanity, and screamed day and night, believing that I was still on the battlefield. I tug and bit at the restraints that tied me to my bed, mutilating my wrists as I did so, trying to escape, trying to end it all.

People walked in and out of my room trying to get me to talk or respond to them, but I never could. In the very beginning, it wasn't even possible to understand what they said, but as the battle haze slowly ebbed away, I could understand that they wanted me to recognize them, I didn't. I was "broken" they said, as though I were some toy that had been tossed aside and forgotten. In the end they went away, all of them, and I was left to a twilight madness that would rise and fade with the approaching night.

Sitting in darkness flashes of bright days and smiling faces began to torment my dreams as much as the battle haze, leaving trails of tears along my cheeks for reasons I did not understand. An ache developed in my chest as slowly the twilight hour began to stretch, encompassing more faces and nightmares that were filled with fire and scarlet eyes.

Who am I? I did not know, nor did I believe that I would ever know.

The world faded into darkness and faces swam in and out of focus. At first I could tell the differences between the dream faces and the real faces, but slowly they began to blend together. Leaving me to see them all as one. On the last night of my existence the faces melted together to form one. Filling me with nightmares, as well as memories of a golden past.

"Harry…" a silky voice whispered from a corner of the room.

Snapping my head up at the familiar sound of the voice, my eyes rested on the eyes of the man that was staring at me, and with a sudden jolt, I remembered who he was, and with that recognition my memory came flooding back.

"Sev..." I whispered, to weak to say any more as reality finally hit me. I was Harry Potter, the war was over, and my friends were dead.

A pain worse then madness filled me, leaving my mind racing and my heart aching. Sobs shook my slight frame as I gave way to grief and despair. A cool hand laid it self against my back, remaining there until I cried my self to silence. It no longer mattered to me that this man might have once betrayed Dumbledore, and it didn't really matter that he had once served Voldemort. All I knew was his hand was comforting and that he was the only one that could grant my wish.

"Severus…" I began after my sobbing had ceased. "can you help me with something?"

"Depends." He replied, but I think he already knew what I wanted.

"Help me remember how to forget…" I begged weakly, half expecting to see a sneer crease his lips, and for him to deny my request.

Instead he gave me a curt node, drew his wand and stepped away from me. Looking into his eye's I saw myself reflected in them, scared and bruised, broken beyond all repair. Closing my eyes, I saw through them a flash of green light, and then there was nothing, except for the thought that it didn't matter if Sev was a traitor or not, because when I had looked into his eyes, they had been the same shade of stormy sadness as mine. And because an apology might have been whispered just as the vial lifted and I walked through.

Fin

Quick author's note: Sorry to anyone who has read my other stories, I'll try to update them as soon as school gets out, which will be at the beginning of next month.


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